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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22513966">Pizza of Perfection</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoubleL27/pseuds/DoubleL27'>DoubleL27</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Schitt's Creek</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Boys In Love, Feels, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Stag Nights &amp; Bachelor Parties</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 09:59:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,182</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22513966</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoubleL27/pseuds/DoubleL27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><em>Patrick hadn’t realized just how much David filled up his life, all the way to the corners, until approximately 36 hours ago. The ball that triggered this realization had started rolling long before yesterday. A month ago, Alexis had bounced into the store, Stevie on her heels, with a thickly stocked folder that she handed over to David with a flourish. Patrick could still see the distrusting look on David’s face as he snatched the folder from Alexis and opened it. David had scanned through and began shuffling papers, his mouth dropping into a gape Patrick was sure had gone unnoticed by David. </em> </p>
<p><em>David had looked up, tears in his eyes, to face Stevie whose grin bordered on maniacal and Alexis who looked like she could vibrate straight out of her skin.</em> “If this is a fucking joke you better tell me now.”</p>
<p>“Nope! All expenses paid trip to New York City for you! Yay David!! I mean, we’re not staying at the Waldorf or anything but it’s going to be so fun! Yay!!”</p>
<p>OR</p>
<p>Patrick misses David while he's off on a bachelor weekend, but at least there's some FaceTime to get him through.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Patrick Brewer/David Rose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>192</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Goshi Sprinkle Prompt Fics</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Pizza of Perfection</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This story is based on a prompt from a Twitter post that read:  My man just FaceTimed me drunk as hell eating a slice of pizza while walking down the street and he goes YOU WANNA KNOW HOW PERFECT YOU ARE? LOOK AT THIS PIZZA... FOR YOU, I'LL DROP THIS PIZZA. IT'S GONE! and just threw the damn pizza into the street</p>
<p>Enjoy. </p>
<p>Per usual, my boys pulled us closer to the feels.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Patrick hadn’t realized just how much David filled up his life, all the way to the corners, until approximately 36 hours ago. The ball that triggered this realization had started rolling long before yesterday. A month ago, Alexis had bounced into the store, Stevie on her heels, with a thickly stocked folder that she handed over to David with a flourish. Patrick could still see the distrusting look on David’s face as he snatched the folder from Alexis and opened it. David had scanned through and began shuffling papers, his mouth dropping into a gape Patrick was sure had gone unnoticed by David. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>David had looked up, tears in his eyes, to face Stevie whose grin bordered on maniacal and Alexis who looked like she could vibrate straight out of her skin. <em>“If this is a fucking joke you better tell me now.”</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“Nope! All expenses paid trip to New York City for you! Yay David!! I mean, we’re not staying at the Waldorf or anything but it’s going to be so fun! Yay!!”</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Patrick was fairly certain Alexis had sold something, or several somethings, possibly even a kidney - her own or someone else’s - to afford this trip. When he had asked if she needed any help or was sure, she had just booped his nose and given him a breezy <em>not for you to worry about, Button, it’s my gift.</em> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Which had lead to this week and David grinning while packing all the while rambling a mile a minute about the things he would do and see in New York. Every once in awhile through the bubbling effusiveness, David would pause and grab both of Patrick’s hands tightly in his own and express, head shaking, that he was sorry they weren’t going together and how he wanted to take Patrick to all of these places. David promised to take Patrick the next time. Patrick agreed more because David wanted to gift Patrick with his past than any burning desire to see New York.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The clothes that had gone into David’s suitcase had been brought fresh from The Love Room: crisp and fitted and edgy and nothing like the soft knits, cozy swears and wide shorts David wore most of the time Patrick had known him. As excited as David was, Patrick couldn't help but think of the lonely hue that colored all the stories that David told about his life in New York, even when he talked about the good things. Patrick had mostly shoved those things aside, knowing that David had long ago given up the idea of moving back to New York. Ultimately, he hoped it would give David the closure he was looking for.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It had been easy to drive David, Alexis and Stevie to the airport on Friday morning with a smile. Patrick had wiped away David’s excited tears and waved away David’s<em> I don’t know why I am crying</em> before sending him off into the terminal. Patrick had given him a quick kiss and promised to pick David up from the airport Sunday night and headed off to open the store alone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It wasn’t a rare occurrence for Patrick to open the store alone and have quiet moments putting together the displays, checking through lists, making sure the till was flush, moving things and hoping David would catch them. There was something different knowing that David wouldn’t be swinging in with caffeine and comments on the way the toner was currently arranged. It wasn’t even like a day where David was touring different vendors, sending texts as he went. Those evenings, David would come into the apartment with pizza and samples from his day. This would be the longest Patrick had gone without seeing David since the terrible week after Rachel had shown up. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>So when Johnny had mentioned a Saturday night baseball watching hang out, Patrick jumped on it. The second day alone at the store was even harder than the first. It took everything he had not to give in and close early just to not have to be there alone, knowing Sunday would be more of the same. He arrived with pizza and beer to a room that still hadn’t been entirely cleared of David’s things and was startled to find it wasn’t just Mr. Rose waiting on him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Patrick stared frozen in the doorway while Johnny waved at him. “Patrick, son, hope the store was good today.  Saved you your spot.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>David’s bed was clear but Roland and Ronnie were in chairs angled towards the TV and Ted was coming out of the bathroom.  “Hey bud!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey,” Patrick returned, unfreezing to lift his hand in a halting wave. It had taken a few moments to override his system and move further into the room filled with people who didn’t belong.  Patrick cringed at Roland using David’s cedar chest as a foot rest. Knowing that asking him to move them was a fifteen minute fight he was not in the mood for, Patrick decided David never had to know. He sure hoped Mutt's handiwork meant none of the dirt from Roland's boots could leach into the knits inside. He'd brought himself to sit on David's bed, making sure to stow his shoes neatly beneath it, and tried to act natural in a room devoid of the one person that actually belonged in it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Now, they were into extra innings, time rolling around to two in the morning thanks to the west coast start time and Patrick didn’t particularly want to go home to the queen bed that felt too big without his cover hogging fiancée. It wasn’t so bad fielding snarky comments from Ronnie and having Jocelyn breeze from Mrs. Rose’s room to the baseball room to be gross with Roland. Mostly, Patrick was glad to have some sports to watch and to not be alone. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Damn games take forever with all this damn pussyfooting these boys do,” Ronnie mused, waving the neck of her beer bottle toward the screen as Grichuk stepped in and out of the box for the tenth time. “How many times do you gotta check your gloves? Brewer?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, I know how to step up to the plate and swing, Ronnie.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Per usual, Ronnie was only amused and cackled. “Ooh! That’s why you needed your fiancé to win the game for you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We won, didn’t we?” Patrick defended, picking up his own beer and taking a swig. “How much money did you lose, Roland?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You see,” Roland said, licking cheese dust off his fingers, over the sound of the Seattle crowd groaning as Grichuk hit what would be a solid base hit into the middle of the outfield. “If you bet on both teams it evens out.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rather than have to continue this conversation, Patrick felt an insistent buzzing at his thigh and pulled the phone from his pocket. David’s smiling face came across the screen with the bar that requested FaceTime. It was even later in New YorK. Patrick couldn’t help but be curious as his texts had been intermittently responded to throughout the day with the occasional explosion of excited texting. Patrick quickly swiped his finger across the bar and waited for the screen to load. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Patrick!” His fiancé practically sang, speaking loud enough to be heard over the background noise of the city around him, as the screen transformed into the screen-in-screen camera mode. David was illuminated oddly by the lights of downtown New York. “It’s David.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yup.” Patrick agreed, noting David’s heavy lidded eyes and lopsided smile. They were definitely having quite the evening. “Says your name on my contacts.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Patrick is that David?” Mr. Rose asked and Patrick felt a heavy hand on his shoulder. In the picture of himself, he saw Mr. Rose  behind him, waving awkwardly “Hey son, hope you’re having a good time. We uh, we miss you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh my god,” David exclaimed, recoiling and making the camera shake wildly. “Why is my dad there and why are you not in bed?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, well, Patrick’s here at the hotel, David,” Mr. Rose answered before Patrick could even respond to the loaded statement said to a room full of people he would rather it have not been said in. “So’s Ronnie and Roland and Ted.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey bud!” Ted called from the floor. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh My God, is that Ted?” Alexis’s voice called and she began creeping into the frame, poking at David’s shoulder like a woodpecker. “David. David! Is Ted there?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What the fuck?” David said, mostly to himself. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“As fascinating as this all is,” Ronnie drawled, and Patrick glanced over his shoulder to see her nose wrinkled and her hand circling in his general direction, “take that phone call outside, Brewer. We’re watching a game here.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Patrick couldn’t agree more. Amidst goodbye calls from Ted and Mr. Rose and an “Enjoy the phone sex!” from Roland, Patrick slipped out onto the walkway in front of David’s room. He watched David lift an oil soaked plate into view and take a bite of whatever was on the top. Considering how much David had waxed poetic about late night pizza multiple times over the last month, Patrick was pretty sure he knew what it was. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sorry about that,” Patrick told David, positioning himself so that the glow of the lights from the window added some light to his face. “Your dad invited me over to watch baseball.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>David swallowed his bite before yelling at Patrick, “It’s late! You’re never up this late!” David frowned in the phone and the screen wobbled as if David tripped. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know. I missed you,” Patrick told David, affection filling him at the way his fiancé had thought to call him late and drunk stumbling through New York City. “The bed is too big.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nggnhh! Why do you have to be like this?” David whined, throwing his head back and the video shaking violently.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Be like what?” Patrick asked, charmed. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Just, perfect. I don’t-I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” David’s voice sounded almost bitter and he took a furious bite of the pizza. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Patrick chuckled at David’s exaggeration. “David, I am not perfect.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But you are,” David said around the pizza before swallowing. “You’re so confident and smart and calm. You make good decisions.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“David,” Patrick returned smiling softly, glad David had moved back from pensive to a whine. “I am competitive and am prone to teasing and I struggle when plans don’t my way.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No. No! You’re perfect!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“David,” Patrick tried.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW PERFECT YOU ARE? LOOK AT THIS PIZZA...” David held up the slice of pizza in his other hand, eyes surprisingly wide. “FOR YOU I’LL DROP THIS PIZZA!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You don’t—“</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“ITS GONE!” But it was still in his hand. And then, like a video that was out of sync with the sound, David threw the pizza over his shoulder, grinning wildly at the screen. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wow,” Patrick could hear Stevie from somewhere behind David as a vague slap followed by a squelching sound came through.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<strong>Aahhhggghhhh</strong>! What the actual fuck, David!?” Alexis could be heard screeching in the background. “I cannot just replace these Louboutins!! Do you know how much they cost? Also, we walked eleven blocks so you could get the correct pizza! What is wrong with you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you see?” David asked Patrick, apparently unaware of the chaos he had created. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That you threw your pizza?” Patrick asked, quietly. “Yes.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How perfect you are!” David urged again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I do. I <em>do</em> see,” Patrick placated, knowing that David would find some other ridiculous way to try and get him to agree. Patrick almost ate his lips swallowing a laugh that David would not appreciate. “The giving up of pizza for me is very clear.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good,” David nodded definitively. He then lifted his free hand to take another bite of the pizza and looked at his empty hand. He looked around confused. The phone swirled, the camera trying to keep up with David turning in circles. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Patrick knew the moment David found it, everything freezing and settling slowly back into focus. “Fuck.” David looked up at Patrick with a deep frown. “Can you eat street pizza?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Eww, David!” Alexis exclaimed, her voice turning into a whine, “Eww.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, I want my pizza,” David snapped, at no one in particular, Patrick was certain. The way David was currently holding the phone, Patrick could see the street and the Pizza of Perfection as he was going to call it when David got home, just to needle him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Then you shouldn’t have thrown it!” Alexis shouted at him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It belongs to the rats now,” Patrick heard Stevie cackle. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The video screen whirled as David moved again, presumably to turn on Stevie, who was probably also somewhat drunk and enjoying this far more than anyone needed to.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“David, love, would you pass the phone to Stevie.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>David seemed not to hear him as the phone screen blurred with motion again as David continued to monologue about pizza. “But it was the perfect slice. You can’t get ones that fold so neatly in Schitt’s Creek! I need a new slice.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suddenly, the screen stilled and a moment later Stevie’s grinning face was broadcast to him, amusement dancing in her eyes. She was surprisingly clear eyed for hanging out with David when drinks were on the line. “Hey there.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>David and Alexis continued their squabbling in the background and amusement and anxiety warred in Patrick. He wanted to be there to defuse the fight that had started and make sure everyone made it back to the hotel. He was not there, however, and Stevie was looking like his best bet considering he could hear Alexis huffing at David over the sound of honking, which was impressive.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey,” Patrick returned, focusing on Stevie. “Can you get him a new slice of pizza and then directly to the hotel? Lock him in his room if you have to?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We are not walking back to the pizza place,” Stevie insisted, rolling her eyes, “That was his third slice. I doubt he’ll even remember he lost one.” Stevie’s grin took on a sharp edge and her eyes glinted. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You recorded him didn’t you?” Patrick asked, although he was already pretty certain of the answer. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That information is a need to know basis.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Stevie.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She didn’t even appear chastised by his warning. If anything, her smile got even wider. “If you need to know, you’ll find out.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Patrick knew he wouldn’t win this one. His sigh was heavy as he looked at her through the phone. “Just not on the internet, please.” Patrick had put a cap on internet disasters at one a decade into the universe after the last one.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Stevie’s smile softened. “If there were such a video, and I am not saying there is, it would be for teasing and minor blackmail only.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Patrick gave her a relieved nod. “Then don’t mention it to Alexis. Please get him safely into his hotel room and home tomorrow in one piece. I will be waiting at the airport.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No worries, Brewer, he’ll be fine.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>An echoing cacophony of David and Alexis screaming “Oh My God!” at each other came through in the background over the hum and beeps of the city streets. There wasn’t much he could do from Schitt’s Creek other than insist on Stevie wrangling them both back to the hotel. There was one thing he wanted to do. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can you bring me back over to say goodnight to my fiancé?” He asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I suppose.” With a shrug, Stevie walked him over to David and Patrick could make out the deep frown lines as David opened his mouth, presumably to yell at Alexis again. He froze as his eyes caught the phone and Patrick could actually see him focus as Stevie said, “David, special phone call for you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Patrick! Hi!” David’s face transformed into a beaming smile and he waved at Patrick with the empty plate. Patrick felt his heart turn over in his chest. He loved this man beyond reason. They were getting married. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why did you call Stevie?” David asked, as his face transformed back into a frown. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Just wanted to say goodnight,” Patrick responded, ignoring the  question. “I hope you’ve had a great time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re up?” David asked, confusion dancing over his face again. “It’s late.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Watched baseball with your Dad,” Patrick reminded him. Stevie was right, he probably would have no memory of this part of the night. “I’ll see you tomorrow, handsome. Water and painkillers before the plane.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>David nodded his emphatic nod that sometimes made Patrick worry that he would shake his head right off. His voice sounded teary when he breathed, “Miss you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I miss you, too. Goodnight, David.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Goodnight, honey. I love you very much,” David leaned in closer, his eyes fluttering between half mast and closed, his head shaking slightly. “Very, very much.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Patrick felt his smile grow to the point that it almost hurt his face. “I love you, too. I’ll see you tomorrow.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was rewarded with a big smile on David’s face and another wide wave. Moments later, Stevie turned the phone back to face herself, and David disappeared from view. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ugh,” Stevie rolled her eyes at Patrick. “you two are gross.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thanks, Stevie, for everything.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before she could dismiss his words or make jokes, David’s voice came through saying, “Ooh, Pizza.” and Patrick found himself cringing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Ewww!</em> No, <em>David</em>!” Alexis exclaimed. "Ugghhh!" </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s my cue.” Stevie gave him a salute and a grin. “Signing off.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The FaceTime dropped and Patrick was left staring at a blank screen. He took one careful breath in and let it out. He repeated the action for good measure. David was with Stevie and Alexis and was fine. He would be home tomorrow and they would not let him eat pizza off the street of New York City. Patrick could picture David tomorrow, weekender bag over his shoulder and his signature white sunglasses high on his nose in the late evening light. The image conjured a smile to his face. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Patrick tapped out a quick email to David making sure to include the words <em>good night, water, pills</em> and <em>love</em>. Even if David forgot the call, he’d wake up to find what Patrick ultimately wanted him to know. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then, because he couldn’t let Stevie beat him to trolling David on this one, he sent a lone pizza emoji. It would be enough to get him thinking and either remembering or asking questions as to why Patrick would send him a pizza emoji with no other references. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>David Rose threw away a perfect New York Slice for him. Patrick wasn’t sure he had ever had a bigger demonstration of love from David, aside from being taught how to handle the knits or David finding his mouth guard and nose bent attractive. His mouth lifted into a small, half-smile, tickled with this latest show of affection. Facing Ronnie’s jabs and Roland’s inappropriate jokes didn’t seem so bad as Patrick twisted the doorknob to David’s room at the motel and stepped inside.</p>
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